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What’s the Difference between Power + Force?

Fill in the blank:

Power is ____________.

Sexy? A dirty word? Easily abused? The way things get done? The natural order of the universe?

Generally, my clients fall into one of two camps in their relationship to Power:

Comfortable with how Power is expressed through them. Confident and direct in their expression. May sometimes be perceived as forceful, or may actually be more forceful than is necessary. Sometimes aware of that, sometimes not.
Uncomfortable about how Power is expressed through them. Ambivalent about fully embodying Power. Worry about being perceived as forceful or taking advantage of others causes them to suppress their Power.

One of the … READ MORE

Mastering the Art of Yes and No

A few years ago, I was facilitating a panel that was set up to help emerging entrepreneurs understand what it’s like when you’re starting-up a business, when you have a couple of years under your belt, and when you’re in it for the long run. As the discussion unfolded, a pattern became clear:

New entrepreneurs say “yes” to many of the opportunities that come their way. They are discovering their ideal clients, their ideal set of products and services, and their voice. Each new opportunity is a chance to test and iterate their hypotheses about … READ MORE

Engaging with Inner Guidance

In our changing, complex, and uncertain world, finding reliable guidance can sometimes feel completely out of reach. One of my favorite books on entrepreneurship (Just Start: Take Action, Embrace Uncertainty, Create the Future) highlights some important research that distills an emergent approach to dealing with such complexity into three simple principles: 

Take a small, smart step forward
Pause to see what you learn
Build the learning into your next step

This approach was first articulated by Professor Saras Sarasvathy of the Darden School of Business, who studied successful serial entrepreneurs and discovered key similarities in how they navigated … READ MORE

Transforming Your Relationships: Part III

Okay, you’ve done your best to be proactive with yourself and your clients, and even so, sometimes conflicts do arise. Conflicts are not necessarily a problem; they can actually be a way that we take our relationships to another level.

In Part II of this series, we learned some ways to unlock your own point of view, but what about if your client seems entrenched?

An incredibly useful teaching of the Enneagram gives us some perspective on how people can get stuck when trying to resolve conflict. The Enneagram tells us that people generally … READ MORE

Transforming Your Relationships: Part II

A couple of months ago, I was teaching an introduction to the Enneagram, and a student raised a question that frequently comes up in a discussion about personality types. She said: “I think my [colleague, friend, spouse] is the Enneagram type that we’ve just been talking about. How can I get her to see that she’s doing that thing that is typical of her personality type, and by the way, it’s really driving me crazy!”

My response was: “Whenever you think that someone else is driving you crazy, the first thing to do is to look … READ MORE